MAD LIBS: Obfuscating What's-a-who-sit?

It's MAD LIBS week!

Working from Botswana today because I have to wash my hair. I can be reached via mental telepathy, flaming woodchuck, or Windows Pinball.

Source: OK, I wrote this one. Let's just pretend that I was actually playing the MAD LIBS game like the rest of you, because contacting me by "flaming woodchuck" is just too funny to pass up.

Actually, today's guest post comes from Julie. I could not make this my actual status on account of the excuse she chose, but if you're reading my blog, you can handle it:

Working from Chinatown today because he had herpes. I can be reached via American Sign Language, obfuscating bonobo, or WINSOCK.DLL.

Explanation: If you're a regular reader, you're familiar with obfuscation. For the less informed, however, I will now happily explain what a bonobo is. Ummm...


Uh...


Well...


Hmmm...


OK, screw it - I looked it up. The internet, which is never wrong, tells me that a bonobo is a pygmy chimpanzee. Here's the photo I found:


There you go. Thank you, Julie. Now we've all learned something today.

We hope you have enjoyed MAD LIBS week here on Jeremy's Sametime Status. Have a great weekend!

MAD LIBS: Sloth Smash!

It's MAD LIBS week!

Working from Downtown Poughkeepsie today because the sun was in my eyes. I can be reached via Morse code, smashing three-toed sloth, or Microsoft Word.

Source: Today's MAD LIBS submission comes courtesy of Peter, who wins the "Best Excuse" award. Unfortunately, the winning excuse (part of his second submission) is inappropriate to run as my work status. Luckily for you, I'll still run it here:

Working from Little Rock because she told me she was 18. I can be reached via hieroglyphics, heckling boll weevil, or Windows Media Player.

Explanation: As I searched the internet for three-toed sloth pictures, I discovered that these peaceful, slow-moving creatures mostly just hang around on trees, eating leaves.


Interestingly, however, it is unwise to anger a three-toed sloth. You won't like a three-toed sloth when it's angry. SLOTH SMASH!


Stay tuned for more MAD LIBS tomorrow!

MAD LIBS: My Dog Ate It

It's MAD LIBS week!

Working from Evil Jeremy's living room today because my dog ate it. I can be reached via smoke signals, spanking emu, or Minesweeper.

Source: The words for today's status message were submitted by Evil Jeremy. Of course, his exact words were "Jeremy's living room", implying that he was working in my living room, but that just doesn't make any sense if I post it as a status message. Therefore, I took the liberty of saying "Evil Jeremy's living room", which is just the kind of thing my evil twin would say. PLUS, it has the added bonus of looking like I'm talking about working from HIS living room, because as you probably know by now, we both think the other is the evil one.

Explanation: I'm not totally sure how one communicates by spanking an emu, but I'll just assume that it can be done and not worry about the logistics.

Special Blog Bonus: Evil Jeremy is running a theme week over on his blog, which contains some fun number sequences. Since he gave me my post today, I figure I should point some traffic in his direction.

That's so very kind of you

Yes, I know it is.

Update 2:41PM: Special thanks to Uncle Willie for this image of an emu spanking. And remember kids, Retirement + Photoshop = Dangerous.


Stay tuned for more MAD LIBS tomorrow!

MAD LIBS: Stuck In the Blood Pressure Machine at Wal-Mart

It's MAD LIBS week!

Working from the 5th circle of Hell today because I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart. I can be reached via smoke signals, spelunking manatee, or Freecell.

Source: Today's status message comes courtesy of Jim, who gets bonus points for touching Wal-Mart's blood pressure machine in the first place.

Explanation: No explanation necessary. In case you were wondering, a spelunking manatee looks something like this:


Stay tuned for more MAD LIBS tomorrow!

MAD LIBS: Working From The Sigmoid Flexure

It's MAD LIBS week!

Working from the sigmoid flexure today because I've been in a coma for 13 years. I can be reached via the Karankawa language, trading moose, and Comma-Separated Value format.

Source: Credit for today's status message goes to Willie, which should be apparent by his choice of animal. Only a Mainiac would choose a moose. OK, maybe a Mainennite would too, but you catch my drift.

Explanation: As you may recall, last week, you were asked to name:

• A gerund (noun created by a verb ending with -ing)
• A place
• An animal
• A method of communication
• An excuse
• A Windows application

Those word parts fit (as you might have guessed) into a status message as follows:

Working from PLACE today because EXCUSE. I can be reached via COMMUNICATION, GERUND ANIMAL, or APPLICATION.

And yes, I'm aware of the fact that "GERUND ANIMAL" doesn't fit into the typical "Working From Home" message, but hey - this isn't the typical blog.

Also, for anyone who may need a definition for sigmoid flexure or Karankawa, I have provided them. If you need a definition for moose, I have not provided one.

Stay tuned for more MAD LIBS tomorrow!

Status of the Famous: Abraham Lincoln

Ever wonder what a famous person would have as their instant messaging status at work? Well now you'll know! Jeremy's Status Message proudly presents, Status Messages of the Famous:

One hour and three minutes ago our management brought forth in this corporation a meeting, conceived in pointlessness, and dedicated to the proposition that all time should be wasted equally.

Famous Person: Abraham Lincoln

Explanation: If you don't know who Abraham Lincoln was, please allow me to enlighten you. The capital of Nebraska is named after him, his portrait is on the penny, he gave the Gettysburg Address, and every car dealership in the country has a sale in honor of his birthday. Oh, yeah - I think he was President or something, too.

Special Blog Contest: That's right! Coming soon to Jeremy's Status Message: MAD-LIBs week! I have the message. I just need some words for it. Post a comment or Sametime me, and if your words are chosen, you'll get credit for that day's status message!* Here's what I need:

• A gerund (noun created by a verb ending with -ing)
• A place
• An animal
• A method of communication
• An excuse
• A Windows application

I have enabled comment moderation so I can record and delete all comments in an effort to make the results a surprise.

*Unless you wish to remain anonymous, which is completely understandable. Hell, my real name is Phil.