Stinky Winkles

From the archives:

If you have a deaf dog named Periwinkle, you can call her "Stinky Winkles" without any fear of offending her.

Explanation: As I said, Peri and I spent a lot of time alone together. I talked to her quite a bit. She didn't hear much. This led to me coming up with numerous nicknames for her. "Stinky Winkles" was one of my favorites (her breath wasn't so pleasant). Also popular were "Stinkles," "Stinklebopper," "Stinklesaurus Rex," "P-Diddy Puff Stuff," and numerous others that I can't recall right now.


In case you were wondering, stuffed animals are also good gifts for the dog who sleeps all the time. Can you find the real dog in this picture?

Deaf + Old = Impossible to Wake

From the archives:

WHO WOKE THE DOG UP? WHO? WHO? WHO?

Source: I'm paraphrasing the Baha Men, if you didn't know.

Explanation: As you know, I work from home. When Sarah was off at work, that would leave me and Peri alone in the house. You have to remember that Peri was both deaf and old, which made it very difficult to wake her. So, several times she was so deeply asleep we suspected that she might have died. Even worse, when we did make a noise loud enough to wake her, she'd practically have a heart attack because she was so startled. It was a tough life for an old dog.

So, naturally, at lunchtime, when it was time to let the dog out, I would walk through the house singing "WHO WOKE THE DOG UP?" as loudly as possible. That usually did the trick. If you never witnessed it, here's a photo of Peri in a rare moment of consciousness:


That pawprint pillow was another item Sarah gave the dog in hopes that she might like it. Imagine it, buying a pillow for a dog who slept 23 hours a day. She liked it. I was shocked.

Oh the Humanity!

From the archives:

A new house and a 14 year-old dog with digestive woes. Who thought this was a good idea?

Explanation: Sweet sweet Periwinkle never went in the house. Ever. She was so well trained. Unfortunately, sometimes the food didn't go through her in the right direction. Now would be a good time to mention that our entire house was carpeted in a very light easy to stain beige color. Resolve became a very important item on our shopping lists.


Yes, apparently she woke up once in a while to wreak havoc on our carpets.

The Excitement of Dog Ownership

From the archives:

New and improved! Now with deaf-dog action!

Explanation: When my wife and I got married and moved into our new house together, we had an immeediate addition to our family: Periwinkle. She was just an adorable old lady and I was very excited to have her in the house. Of course, I didn't know her little quirks at that point. Really, could this dog possibly be difficult?


My wife picked up this dog bed for Peri when shopping one day in hopes that she might like it. Peri apparently was never big into dog beds. So, Sarah laid the bed in a corner downstairs to see what the dog would think. I think the dog had spent an entire week straight sleeping in the bed when we decided that cutting the tags off wouldn't be a problem. Luckily she would change positions once in a while so we knew she was still with us.

Ah, Summer Vacations

From the archives:

Let's see. There was a cabin, a lot of rain, some really annoying horseflies, a trip to the CIA, a little volleyball, a dog funeral, seventeen family dinners, a piece of a Danish musical instrument, a strongman competition, celery, fireworks, Liz was late, my toenail was ripped off, a parade, a pool, more dominoes than I could ever imagine, my Intranet password expired, and now I'm back at work.

Explanation: Well, in honor of my vacation this week, I thought I'd bring back the wonderful memories of a vacation two years ago. Of course, our trip was cut short because our dog died, but that's beside the point. Actually, that kind of is the point. Since I'll be out of the office until next Thursday, I figured I'd bring back a few posts about everyone's favorite fifteen year old deaf Sheltie, Periwinkle. So, for the next few days, that's what you're going to get.


By the way, my toenail injury occurred during an intense game of Cranium. Not many people can say that, huh?

Thunderstruck

From the archives:

The sun heats the earth's water sources, causing water to evaporate and rise into the air. As the water vapor rises, it cools and condenses to become droplets, forming clouds. These clouds collect an electrical charge, with the upper portion positive and the lower portion negative, and travel like giant capacitors along with the prevailing winds until they find themselves over Mount Laurel, New Jersey at 5 o'clock in the morning, at which point, the strong electric field causes the surrounding air to begin to break down, forming positive ions and electrons. An electron path forms through the air, ultimately finding its way to the earth, at which point a conductive path exists between the earth and the cloud, allowing massive amounts of current to travel from the cloud to the earth, causing an amount of heat in its general vicinity greater than the surface temperature of the sun. This immense heat literally causes the air around it to explode, sending a shockwave in all directions, including the direction of my house, where it A) causes both me and my wife to jump two feet in the air from a dead sleep, B) shakes the entire house, causing the ceiling fan to actually sway from side to side, and C) awakens our deaf dog, who vividly remembers being afraid of thunder. Isn't nature beautiful?

Explanation: I was very proud of this status message back when I first ran it. It required quite a bit of research, but the effort was worthwhile. I still cannot believe how loud that thunderclap was.

More Importantly: In over a year of blogging, this is the first mention of Periwinkle, my wife's sheltie who lived with us for the last year and a half of her life before finally achieving her goal of 24 hours of sleep per day at the ripe old age of 15.


There will be much more said in this space about her, but for now it will suffice to say that the Peri my wife knew was the most wonderful, well-trained, and loving dog in the whole world.*

*The Peri I knew was an almost entirely deaf senior citizen with irrational fears of tile floors and steps, whose weak stomach waged war on our carpets. I should also mention that, because I work from home, Peri and I spent a whole lot of time together. We had many wonderful conversations that only one of us actually heard.