Knothing is knicer than knoshing on a knish on a knasty day.
Explanation: I don't know, I just like to knosh on a knice knish when it's rainy and knasty outside. Knothing raises my spirits like that warm potatoey goodness.
I'm also looking pforward to the Pfabulous Baker Boys tomorrow, pfor my pfavorite Pfriday pastime is to watch movies pfeaturing Michelle Pheiffer.
Special Blog Bonus: In other news, I'm not sure if you missed it, but Apple introduced a new laptop:
Showing posts with label The Onion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Onion. Show all posts
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Saturday, June 14, 2008
A Tough Lesson
From the archives:
You will learn a valuable lesson about strategic thinking after you write insults in your worst enemy's Advanced Judo handbook.
Source: This was one of my favorite horoscopes from The Onion way back when. I haven't been reading them lately, so they're all new to me! Oh joy! Here are a few I just stumbled upon:
Special Blog Bonus: This has nothing to do with anything (as usual) but it's important to know that the slumping economy touches everyone:
You will learn a valuable lesson about strategic thinking after you write insults in your worst enemy's Advanced Judo handbook.
Source: This was one of my favorite horoscopes from The Onion way back when. I haven't been reading them lately, so they're all new to me! Oh joy! Here are a few I just stumbled upon:
- Lady Luck will be on your side this week. Unfortunately for you, Lady Skill, Lady Experience, and Lady Applied Probability Theory won't.
- Now that the hard part is over, all you have to do is sit back, relax, and hope that San Diego Zoo officials don't notice the uncanny physical resemblance.
- You've never been very good with technology, making this week's unstoppable killing machine especially difficult for you to handle.
- The stars foresee a time of great vagueness and something or other in your future. Also, there will be a chair.
- Dyslexia may be a serious affliction, but so is abusing it in order to attain triple-letter scores when playing Scrabble.
Special Blog Bonus: This has nothing to do with anything (as usual) but it's important to know that the slumping economy touches everyone:
Friday, February 15, 2008
Poll Findings Made Simple
From the archives:
Such public reactions to Gallup-poll findings are typical, Mallock said. "We often see a desire to acquiesce among survey participants," polling-analysis analyst Tamara Bello-Dockett said. "There's a pendulum effect to the feedback loop generated by the see-saw aspect of how people form their opinions about their perceptions of others' beliefs. This does make it somewhat difficult for us to know exactly what the American people are actually saying about how the public is feeling about popular thinking, if you see what I mean."
Source: This was from an article in The Onion entitled "85 Percent of Public Believes Bush's Approval Rating Fell in Last Month".
Special Blog Bonus: Some people say The Onion contains content unsuitable for my readers' delicate sensibilities. I agree, but for the brave, this article is awfully funny.
Such public reactions to Gallup-poll findings are typical, Mallock said. "We often see a desire to acquiesce among survey participants," polling-analysis analyst Tamara Bello-Dockett said. "There's a pendulum effect to the feedback loop generated by the see-saw aspect of how people form their opinions about their perceptions of others' beliefs. This does make it somewhat difficult for us to know exactly what the American people are actually saying about how the public is feeling about popular thinking, if you see what I mean."
Source: This was from an article in The Onion entitled "85 Percent of Public Believes Bush's Approval Rating Fell in Last Month".
Special Blog Bonus: Some people say The Onion contains content unsuitable for my readers' delicate sensibilities. I agree, but for the brave, this article is awfully funny.
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