The Best

It's the return of the new and improved and I'm smooth, ain't nobody does it better, here's the proof.

Source: This is a line from The Best by 2 Skinnee J's. The chorus of the song then continues to lay out the details of the proof, which are quite elegant and simple, but unfortunately this space is not dope enough to contain it.

Special Blog Bonus: To balance this small post, I offer a link to a very large LEGO castle:

Hi Ho the Merri-O!

The hills are alive with the sound of chicken.

Source: This is a lyric from the 2 Skinnee J's song Meadowblaster. At the end of the song, before the last chorus of "the J's in the dell", the band just keeps repeating "the hills are alive with the sound of chicken." I'm not totally sure what that means, but I'm thinking the chickens are about to rebel...

Explanation: I don't think I could possibly explain this song. Instead, I'll just give you the lyrics:

The J's in the dell
The J's in the dell
Hi ho the merrio the J's in the dell
Old Skinnee J had a farm E-I-O
Planted breeds of the seeds and I heed to watch them grow
Frrom knee high to sky high body and in spirit
Here a rhyme there a rhyme everywhere a lyric
Our delivery is candid with band-aid adhesion
Made it through the changes weathered all the seasons
Now it is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer 2 Skinnee is the magic number
And I wonder awake from your slumber
The blindfold around your mind and soul is torn asunder
So you wake up to greet the day
It's the dawn in the house of J

Well I'm an international harvester so here's a harbinger of things to come
Emerge the one Special J that's prehensile
I've been wrestled from my nestle on the vessel of the wind swept plain
To obtain my weight in grain
It's the cycle of the seasons and here we go again
We how rows with our flows as we sows all we knows
Into grooves and furrows using bulls and burroughs
Storing all we've grown in a mile high silo
Laying claim to our domain with our deeds and titles
I kneel to idols to grow my pastures faster
That's how it is with the old meadowblaster

Reaping props like crops and sowing rhymes like seeds
We're springing like the chicken and we're stinging like bees
Wee wee wee like the piggy heading all the way home
It's the leaders of the sheep and like the cheese I stand alone
And I get down like the rain on the plain for sure
So God damn this you're not in Kansas anymore
Do you dare go where a scarecrow will slay a witch
And the hills are alive with the sound of chickens

Sometimes You Have To Brag

Best. Parking spot. Ever.

Explanation: After spending three nightmarish hours in the car trying to get to Irving Plaza in New York City to see the 2 Skinnee J's last night, the whole ordeal was made worthwhile when my wife and I found a spot on the street fifty yards from the entrance of the venue. Fifty yards! Right there on the street! It was amazing. You could see my car from the front door. This will never happen again, so I really have to enjoy it while it's still fresh in my mind.

Other important notes from last night:

1. It took three hours to get there and an hour and a half to get home... and the trip home included going 30 blocks out of our way to drop people off at Grand Central Station.
2. I don't know who picks opening bands, nor do I know what controlled substances they are under the influence of when they do that choosing.
3. Who forms a heavy metal Bee Gees tribute band, anyway?
4. Any concert with live Guitar Hero is a cool concert.
5. You can actually choke on a yawn if somebody punches you in the solar plexus at just the right moment. Thanks, Jim.
6. Giving drunk people glowing light sticks to throw at other drunk people isn't really a good idea.
7. The aforementioned car trip is not a good warmup for bouncing through a concert.
8. Sure, there were like 30 beach balls flying around and everyone got a few touches, but my touches were all legal contacts. I saw several lifts and doubles.
9. When a lead singer crowd surfs toward the end of the concert, before you attempt to help him on is way, you should remember exactly how sweaty he is.
10. Pre-hydrate, don't dehydrate.

Well, the Lama Does Dilly-Dally

Some silly Sallies dilly-dally like the Lama.

Source: Wild Kingdom by the 2 Skinnee J's.

Explanation: Why am I posting Skinnees lyrics? Two reasons. First, I have an insane amount of stuff to do today and no time to come up with something better. Second, today is 7/16, which makes it two days until 7/18, which is the official date of all things Skinnee. So there you go. Need to hear something more creative? Ask Nihad why he's half Italian.

Special Blog Bonus: Here's a comic for you to make up for my lack of creativity:

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