Coolio, Where Are Youio?

Does anyone know what ever happened to Coolio?

Explanation: For some reason, Gangster's Paradise popped into my head the other day and I wondered what ever happened to Coolio. What do you think? Is he a Senator from Minnesota? Did he ride his big wheel into the Pacific Ocean, never to be heard from again? Did Biggie (R.I.P.) sit on him? I want to know!

Special Blog Bonus: Some people have too much time on their hands. But, without these people, we couldn't waste our own time watching clever videos made with LEGOs about 8-bit video games.

Long Commute

"I'm going to work... I'm at work!"

Source: This is what I yelled to my wife a few minutes ago. You can do that kind of thing when you telecommute.

Explanation: You see, I was going to work. Then I got there. It didn't take very long. Therein lies the humor.

Special Blog Bonus: Not funny enough? How about this LEGO scene depicting the death of Jar Jar Binks?

Score One For Ornithology!

I think the red-winged blackbird is quite appropriately named.

Explanation: This past weekend my wife and I brought our daughter to a new local park. Our county has made serious efforts over the past several years to create park space around a local river and this park is a result of those efforts. The park has several walking paths which weave around the grounds allowing you to observe the local wildlife. One path leads to a deck designed for observing the birds native to the area.

We got out onto that deck and spotted a beautiful black bird with bright red wings. An older gentleman, who had been sitting down on a bench there when we arrived, saw us point out the bird. He said, "that there is a red-winged blackbird." Then he made a few more comments about local birds and wandered off. Sure enough, later on we saw a sign that described the bird we saw as a red-winged blackbird. The ornithologists got one right!

You just wanted to say ornithologist, didn't you?

You're still here?

Yep. This is the last day of my "Evil Take Time." You are obviously bringing up birds so you can talk about bird flu, right?

Nope. I will, however, be sorry to see you go. It'll be lonely here without you.

You've been blogging for two years without me. You haven't sounded that lonely before. I think you'll manage.

Yeah, you're right, I'll manage. But once you're back home I have to be careful about using italics again. That's annoying.

Annoying you is part of our mission statement. So, can we talk about LEGOs now?

OH! I'm so proud of you! We sure can!!!

First of all, I'm going to have to ask you about your TPS reports...


Next, we have a great castle...


And we'll finish up today with a little Kiss.


Have fun back at your Evil home and remember, there's a little LEGO in all of us.

Just Tell Me, Bob!

It's been four seasons and I still have no idea how my mother knows Bob Saget.

Explanation: Season four of How I Met Your Mother has come and gone and I still have no idea how Bob Saget (the narrator) met my mother. How much longer do I have to wait, Bob? I have other things to do on Monday nights, you know. Jeez!

It's Thursday. Why aren't we talking about The Office?

You're still here? We don't talk about The Office on this blog because I do not watch it. I tried really hard to like it, but I just don't appreciate their style of humor. I'm sorry. This blog probably feels like some sort of Bizarro alternate universe to you. You know, kind of like France.

It's kind of like that, only there's less cheese here.

We don't have any blouse-wearing poodle-walkers here either.

Sure. You just keep thinking that.

Oh, I give up.

There! Now it feels exactly like France! Thank you!

Just for you, I did an internet search to see if there was anything out there involving both LEGOs and bird flu. There wasn't. BUT, there is a cool page about LEGO dimensions which includes the FLU, or fundamental LEGO unit. Good stuff.

Can we talk about toasters now?

I still have nothing about toasters per se, but maybe a LEGO waffle will brighten up your morning?

The Best

It's the return of the new and improved and I'm smooth, ain't nobody does it better, here's the proof.

Source: This is a line from The Best by 2 Skinnee J's. The chorus of the song then continues to lay out the details of the proof, which are quite elegant and simple, but unfortunately this space is not dope enough to contain it.

Special Blog Bonus: To balance this small post, I offer a link to a very large LEGO castle:

Giant Chipmunks!

Beware of the giant attack chipmunks!

Source: Well, really I just wanted an excuse to blog this picture:


One of the most frustrating things about being interested in both LEGOs and photography is that the internet provides so many examples of people who are vastly superior to me in both pursuits. I made the mistake of checking out my favorite LEGO blog the other day and I found this picture. Then, I compounded my mistake by checking out some other photos that this guy had taken (and his toy pictures, in particular). Aside from my jealousy over his tamed chipmunks, I was absolutely floored at the photos he created using his LEGO Castle Advent calendar.

Well, I can't beat him, so as I work on honing my LEGO skills, I suggest you go check out the cool stuff that he's done. Enjoy!

I'm Udderly Thrilled!

I have LEGO cows!

Explanation: I finally got myself the LEGO Medieval Market Village, complete with LEGO cows! I'm very excited about this. Of course, my daughter will probably be in school by the time I have enough free time to put it together, but that's not important. The LEGO cows are in my possession!

Special Blog Bonus: I finally caught up on my LEGO news. Here are some pretty slick models I've found:

• I'm generally not into mechs (or whatever they call LEGO robot type thingies), but this model impressed me. Wish I could build like that... or had the time to try.
• There seems to be a LEGO genre where a dark force is taking over the world. I've seen several models of this sort, but this one is my favorite by far.
• This model is just a good old-fashioned castle, complete with the wood-on-stone buildings that I like so much.
• And finally, this is just an impressive little piece of LEGO architecture.

Hans Gruber Was a Clever Dude

You ask for miracles? I give you the F-B-I.

Source: The one and only Hans Gruber, of course.

Explanation: I was helping Hans out on a job back around Christmas of 1987 at the new Nakatomi plaza, where the Nakatomi corporation was holding their annual Christmas party. We bust into this new building with the intent of stealing the $640 million in German bearer bonds they have in their vault. We couldn't get the password from the Nakatomi executive, Joe Takagi, so Joe had to go and we started drilling the puppy instead. I got all the way through to the last layer of security: an electromagnetic lock, but thought it would take a miracle to get through it. Then the FBI takes over the crime scene, cutting the power to the building and getting us into the vault. Hans drops this gem on me when it goes down. Man, that guy was clever. Unfortunately, during our exit strategy, I was detained by a limo driver named Argyle and Hans departed the building from about 31 floors higher than he intended to. Good times!

Special Blog Bonus: And now for twelve minutes of fun. Watch as LEGO minifigs assemble the Millenium Falcon all by themselves:

Snow Day? No Day!

Three-week-olds just don't appreciate the snow like they should.

Explanation: It's a snow day! My wife's school is cancelled, which would matter if she wasn't on maternity leave. It might effect me if I didn't work out of the house. That leaves my little girl. We took her out to play in the first snow of her life and she just sunk to the bottom and fell asleep in it. Pretty sad.

OK, so our daughter didn't actually get to see the snow up close, but she does seem to have a very strong grasp on the concept of "Monday." The absolute highlight of last night was perhaps the most disgusting experience I've had since becoming a father. Let's just say that (among other things) it dirtied a wall 3 feet away and we'll leave it at that.

Special Blog Bonus: Moving on to more entertaining subject matter, here's a LEGO temple hosting the sacrifice of a poor young woman:


And yes, if you were wondering that is indeed a Princess Leia torso. That's pretty much a trademark of this artist. You can see more of his stuff here. I strongly suggest you page through his photostream a bit. Some of his castle models are just insane.

The Apple/Doctor Corollary

A doctor a day leaves you with no time for eating apples.

Explanation: I got a call yesterday reminding me of a checkup with a doctor this morning. As nothing has changed (which is good) since my last appointment with this doctor, it was a fun appointment to go to:

Doctor: "How are you?"

Jeremy: "Fine."

Doctor: "Come back in six months."

Still, this is my second doctor's appointment in three days, which is just silly. How can I keep them away if I have no time for eating apples?

Special Blog Bonus: Enough of that. I've been catching up on my LEGO browsing. While it's a little late (thanks, Kari!) here is the Queen of Hearts's castle in honor of Valentine's Day:


You can see more images of this creation here.

Vaguely Familiar

This white stuff falling from the sky looks vaguely familiar...

Explanation: It is snowing here. Finally. The last four or five times a "wintry mix" has been in our forecast, I've endured a rainy day while listening to my family (who live a mere 40 miles away) talk about the inches and inches of snow they had. It's 40 miles. How much of a difference can 40 miles make?

And don't even get me started on the great white north that is Poughkeepsie. I think they've been under four feet of snow since November.

Special Blog Bonus: Speaking of snow, this is a great time to point you toward one of the best LEGO creations I've seen in a long time. I present to you, the 5x10 foot Hoth base diorama, LEGO style, complete with little LEGO foot prints in the snow:


It's cold out, but it's not quite "crawl inside the dead carcass of a tauntaun" cold. You can find more photos in this photo stream.

Commuting?

Oddly, I'm working from home and yet my commute was much longer than usual this morning.

Explanation: To make our afternoon scheduling easier, I drove my wife to work this morning. I understand that most people do this sort of thing every day, but I am not most people. Furthermore, if I do have to leave the house first thing in the morning, I would prefer that it wasn't during the coldest spell we've had all winter. Anyway, I am now back at home, but a bit more cold and confused than normal.

Special Blog Bonus: Ever wonder how to make a Penrose Triangle out of LEGOs? Here are the simple instructions:



If you still have difficulty, you might want to consider this model for help:

It's LEGO Advent!

Today is the first day of LEGO Advent!

Explanation: It's official! Today is the first day of LEGO Advent. This means I can crack open Day 1 of my LEGO Castle Advent Calendar.

For those of you who don't know, LEGO Advent celebrates the 24 days before LEGO Jesus was born with small individually wrapped LEGO toys. In my case, they are LEGO Castle toys, symbolic of the... umm... protective... ummm... OK, fine, so they're just 24 toys to keep me occupied until Christmas. There is no deep spiritual meaning to LEGO Advent. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a minifig to assemble.

Happy Holidays!

It's officially the holiday season. My LEGO Christmas catalog has arrived.

Explanation: OK, so technically, this one is the "Late Holiday 2008" catalog. I have already received the "Holiday 2008" catalog. Still, this one just feels more special.

Of course, noticeably omitted from the catalog are the two items I'm most interested in - the LEGO Medieval Market Village, due out in 2009, and the LEGO Castle Advent Calendar, which is not available in the United States. Luckily, I happen to have obtained a set anyway. Still, I can't wait for the Medieval Market Village to come out. Then, I can finally achieve my dream of owning LEGO cows!

Happy Halloween!

Working from home in the greatest Halloween costume ever.

Explanation: Three words: LEGO Mini Man


That's right! It's time for everybody's favorite holiday! The only day of the year children are allowed to walk from door to door demanding a candy payoff to prevent unfortunate toilet paper incidents involving the tree in your front yard. It's Halloween!

As I do on every Halloween,* I'm working from home dressed up in my Halloween costume. It's a little tough typing with these mini man hands, but I think I finally have the hang of it.

*And you can't prove otherwise

Nerd Squared

I'm still in court today, but I needed a new status message

"Yoda of Borg are we: Futile resistance is. Assimilate you, we will."


Source: I saw this in some guy's sig on (of course) a Linux forum. And no, the above photo is not my Photoshop handiwork.

Explanation: Anything that includes both Star Wars and Star Trek AND is funny has to be a status message. It just has to be. End of story.

Special Blog Bonus: In LEGO Borg/Yoda news:

• You have to check out this LEGO Borg Cube model just to read the first comment on the page.
• Here's a nice looking shot of LEGO Borg minifigs.
• Jumo LEGO Yoda at a LEGO store (with Pick-a-Brick in the background!).
• Smaller LEGO Yoda.
• Of course, there's everybody's favorite LEGO Yoda in the gold bikini.
• LEGO William Shatner of old
• More recent LEGO William Shatner.

Que?

De las archivas:

Available in Spanish in SAP.

El Sourceo: Oh, admit it. You've seen it on the bottom of your screen when your favorite program came on. Every once in a while, I bet you've even hit the SAP button (if you can find it) just to find out what Homer Simpson sounds like in Spanish. I know you've done it. If you haven't, this is pretty much what you'd see:



El Blogo Bonuso Especial: What happens when you give LEGOs to a photographer during the Olympics? You end up with a set of LEGO Olympic scenes, like this one of a swimming event:

My 2004 Olympic Programming Rant

From the archives:

NBC: The official channel of Olympic gymnastics. Is it just me, or does it seem strange that after an entire day of Olympic competition, NBC decides to fill a quarter of their tape-delayed prime-time slot with exhibition gymnastics. Haven't we just watched gymnastics for like a week straight? Haven't all of the gymnastics medals been given out already? Aren't most of us sick of trying to figure out what the judges are looking at? In an entire Olympic games, you're telling me that the best Day 11 had to offer was a freakin' exhibition? COME ON!!! And don't give me this "female viewers are only interested in gymnastics and diving" crap. Half of the athletes our country sent are women. You think they all hurry through their (apparently uninteresting) events so they can get home and watch tape-delayed NBC footage of exhibition gymnastics? Somebody, stop this madness! I don't want Paul Hamm and Svetlana Khorkina in my living room anymore. Jeez...

Explanation: I just wanted to prove that my quadrennial Olympic television rant really is a quadrennial rant. This is my post from 2004. I'm still bitter.

Special Blog Bonus: Regardless of how bitter I am, it's always cool to see LEGO Olympic creations. Here's a Stormtrooper doing the clean and jerk:


You can tell it's the clean and jerk because of his hand position. Of course, LEGO figures can really have only one hand position, so they're pretty much incapable of doing the snatch. Then again, they're also made out of plastic, so maybe I should turn down my reality-meter a little bit. Here are more Stormtroopers competing in other events.

[Humor] 20 capas de CDs recriadas em LEGO

Dá-lhe,

Hoje eu trago 20 capas de CDs conhecidos, mas recriadas na versão LEGO.

20 Capas de CDs recriadas em LEGO
(20 Album Covers Recreated in LEGO)

1. The Strokes - Is This It

2. Cradle Of Filth - Cruelty and The Beast

3. The Beatles - Abbey Road

4. The Beatles - Hard Days Night

5. Velvet Underground - Nico Andy Warhol

6. Aphex Twin - Windowlicker

7. Belle and Sebastian - Push Barman To Open Old Wounds

8. Kaiser Chiefs - Your Truly, Angry Mob

9. The Beatles - Let it Be

10. The Beatles - Revolver

11. The Beatles - Please Please me

12. Morrissey - You are the Quarry

13. Muse - Black holes and Revelations

14. Nirvana - Nevermind

15 - The Beatles - Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band

16. The Beatles - Yellow Submarine

17. The Offspring - Americana

18. Bruce Springsteen - Born In The U.S.A

19. Pink Floyd - The Division Bell

20. Norah Jones - Not Too Late

via: The Toy Zone