My 2004 Olympic Programming Rant

From the archives:

NBC: The official channel of Olympic gymnastics. Is it just me, or does it seem strange that after an entire day of Olympic competition, NBC decides to fill a quarter of their tape-delayed prime-time slot with exhibition gymnastics. Haven't we just watched gymnastics for like a week straight? Haven't all of the gymnastics medals been given out already? Aren't most of us sick of trying to figure out what the judges are looking at? In an entire Olympic games, you're telling me that the best Day 11 had to offer was a freakin' exhibition? COME ON!!! And don't give me this "female viewers are only interested in gymnastics and diving" crap. Half of the athletes our country sent are women. You think they all hurry through their (apparently uninteresting) events so they can get home and watch tape-delayed NBC footage of exhibition gymnastics? Somebody, stop this madness! I don't want Paul Hamm and Svetlana Khorkina in my living room anymore. Jeez...

Explanation: I just wanted to prove that my quadrennial Olympic television rant really is a quadrennial rant. This is my post from 2004. I'm still bitter.

Special Blog Bonus: Regardless of how bitter I am, it's always cool to see LEGO Olympic creations. Here's a Stormtrooper doing the clean and jerk:


You can tell it's the clean and jerk because of his hand position. Of course, LEGO figures can really have only one hand position, so they're pretty much incapable of doing the snatch. Then again, they're also made out of plastic, so maybe I should turn down my reality-meter a little bit. Here are more Stormtroopers competing in other events.

A Foray Into the Commodities Market

Commodities investing is harder than you might think.

Explanation: Given the rampant inflation we're facing and the unsteadiness in the stock market, I finally decided to reallocate a portion of my portfolio into commodities. After a lot of thought, I decided to avoid ETFs and market options, and make a direct investment, avoiding any of those annoying loads and management charges the exchanges will nail you with. While oil is clearly the hot mover lately, the volatility in that market scared me away. I considered some of the precious metals, gold, silver, and the like, but in the end I think I'd be buying at the peak right now. In fact, given the current commodities bubble, it was pretty difficult to find a position that wasn't already overvalued. I researched quite a bit, though, and finally found a commodity which I believe has a lot of upward movement in its future: iron.

So, I set my strike price at about 5.6 cents an ounce and eventually found a seller willing to meet it. I bought about 4800 ounces with the stipulation that I would complete the transaction in person: you do not want to pay handling fees for a transaction like this.

Monday was the set transaction date, so I cleared my calendar and headed down to the prearranged transfer location, where my prize was loaded up for me by the seller's agents. Everything went smoothly and I was looking forward to the ease of future investments until I got home and realized that the gentlemen who loaded my car were significantly larger than I was.

After quite a bit of work, however, I managed to move my new holdings into the safety of my garage. I am quite pleased with how everything went, and I plan to hold this investment into the future through many ups and downs.

So, for those of you out there who are considering jumping into the commodities market, I suggest that you follow my lead and go out and buy iron, like I did. Just remember - moving your new 300 pound barbell set into the house will be quite a workout.

I Survived!

Yesterday afternoon at my appointed time, I began the journey toward a place I often equate with the very pits of Hell. I headed off on my way, knowing full well that unimaginable pain and suffering awaited me there. My appointment did not disappoint. Through the use of various instruments of torture, my body... no, my very soul was torn and beaten down until all that remained was the mere shadow of the person I used to be. No human being should endure such intolerable pain. And yet at the end, with what little strength I had left, I walked away from it under my own power. I survived my leg workout. After that, the root canal was easy.

Explanation: In preparation for the fun that was my root canal yesterday, I gave myself a brutal leg workout. Conveniently, I had an hour or so to lay in a chair after the workout, which was nice, since I couldn't hold myself up. I have to say, for a little while the root canal caused more pain than the leg workout, but right now, the legs are ahead by a mile. (And not because they are a mile long)

Also fun about yesterday's trip to the endodonist was that it took me past both my dentist and my periodontist. To quote my wife, "I don't even want to know what's past your endodontist's office." I'm guessing it's Camden.

Tom Platz Knows Squat

"After a good set of squats, I'm breathless and have difficulty walking."

Source: Tom Platz. THE Tom Platz. What? You have no idea who Tom Platz is? Shame on you.

Explanation: At his prime, Tom Platz had the best leg development in the history of bodybuilding. This was 30-some years ago, and in a sport where everyone has gotten bigger and better (possibly thanks to advances in modern chemistry) Platz's legs remain the gold standard.

At a 198 pound bodyweight, Platz squatted 600 pounds in competition. At his best he did 28 reps with 405 pounds and 52 reps with 350. With 225 pounds, he has squatted for ten straight minutes. And, amazingly, even with all that bulk, the man could do a full split. Just sick.

Anyway, the moral of the story is simple. Squats are good for your legs.