You ask for miracles? I give you the F-B-I.
Source: The one and only Hans Gruber, of course.
Explanation: I was helping Hans out on a job back around Christmas of 1987 at the new Nakatomi plaza, where the Nakatomi corporation was holding their annual Christmas party. We bust into this new building with the intent of stealing the $640 million in German bearer bonds they have in their vault. We couldn't get the password from the Nakatomi executive, Joe Takagi, so Joe had to go and we started drilling the puppy instead. I got all the way through to the last layer of security: an electromagnetic lock, but thought it would take a miracle to get through it. Then the FBI takes over the crime scene, cutting the power to the building and getting us into the vault. Hans drops this gem on me when it goes down. Man, that guy was clever. Unfortunately, during our exit strategy, I was detained by a limo driver named Argyle and Hans departed the building from about 31 floors higher than he intended to. Good times!
Special Blog Bonus: And now for twelve minutes of fun. Watch as LEGO minifigs assemble the Millenium Falcon all by themselves:
Showing posts with label Die Hard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Die Hard. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, September 29, 2008
Live Free or You've Gotta Be Kidding Me
Giant nuclear lizards.
Source: Once, many years ago, I was watching the movie Godzilla (or something similar) with my parents. After about an hour of watching this movie, my father (who worked in the airline industry for several years) jumped up to complain about how the outside of an airplane they showed did not match the plane cabin that the actors were in. That was the scene that drove him over the edge. I exclaimed "GIANT NUCLEAR LIZARDS!!!" to remind him that the entire premise of the movie was implausible, and once you suspend your disbelief over something like giant nuclear lizards, pretty much anything is possible.
Explanation: Yesterday, Sarah and I watched Live Free or Die Hard and during one of the final scenes, I looked up and proclaimed that we had exceeded my threshold for implausibility. Mind you, at this point, digital terrorists had already seized control of every traffic system in the country, set off the anthrax alarm in a government agency, hacked the New York Stock Exchange, and shut down power to the entire country. Oh, and let's not forget the gorgeous ninja computer hacker woman - oh, I totally remember her from my computer science classes in college.
I could go on to explain the exact scene which drove me over the edge, but I don't want to "ruin" the movie for anyone.
Source: Once, many years ago, I was watching the movie Godzilla (or something similar) with my parents. After about an hour of watching this movie, my father (who worked in the airline industry for several years) jumped up to complain about how the outside of an airplane they showed did not match the plane cabin that the actors were in. That was the scene that drove him over the edge. I exclaimed "GIANT NUCLEAR LIZARDS!!!" to remind him that the entire premise of the movie was implausible, and once you suspend your disbelief over something like giant nuclear lizards, pretty much anything is possible.
Explanation: Yesterday, Sarah and I watched Live Free or Die Hard and during one of the final scenes, I looked up and proclaimed that we had exceeded my threshold for implausibility. Mind you, at this point, digital terrorists had already seized control of every traffic system in the country, set off the anthrax alarm in a government agency, hacked the New York Stock Exchange, and shut down power to the entire country. Oh, and let's not forget the gorgeous ninja computer hacker woman - oh, I totally remember her from my computer science classes in college.
I could go on to explain the exact scene which drove me over the edge, but I don't want to "ruin" the movie for anyone.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Perfect Strangeness
Balki Bartokomous, how could you do this to me???
Explanation: Well, the short explanation is that I had a conversation with Evil Jeremy yesterday and that shouldn't happen just as matter and anti-matter should steer clear of each other, and the bad guy in Time Cop should avoid touching his time-traveling self from the future.
The longer explanation is as follows. Evil Jeremy was trying to sell me on hockey, as he is known to do, and I mentioned that hockey people are just silly, citing the fact that Michael J. Fox and Dave Coulier insist on playing hockey at every opportunity in whatever sitcom they happen to be on. As you would imagine, he mentioned Steve Carrell as well. I said, "Like Tony Danza and tap dancing" to which he replied "and Bronson Pinchot talking with a funny accent." Naturally, I responded "Of course, don't be ridiculous!" at which point we agreed that Bronson Pinchot should give up his old voice for good and stick exclusively to the Balki accent. Then a little research on Perfect Strangers turned ugly fast.
As you may recall, Larry and Balki had a coworker named Harriet who eventually was paired with the loveable police officer from Die Hard as part of a spinoff series called Family Matters. Therefore, as far as I'm concerned, Balki Bartokomous is directly responsible for the existence of Steven Urkel. This is sad, sad news. There is no Dance of Joy in me today, folks.
Special Blog Bonus: Evil Jeremy also discovered that the original unaired pilot featured Louie Anderson as Cousin Larry.
How messed up is that? You can read more about the pilot here. In the meantime, here's a clip from the show:
Explanation: Well, the short explanation is that I had a conversation with Evil Jeremy yesterday and that shouldn't happen just as matter and anti-matter should steer clear of each other, and the bad guy in Time Cop should avoid touching his time-traveling self from the future.
The longer explanation is as follows. Evil Jeremy was trying to sell me on hockey, as he is known to do, and I mentioned that hockey people are just silly, citing the fact that Michael J. Fox and Dave Coulier insist on playing hockey at every opportunity in whatever sitcom they happen to be on. As you would imagine, he mentioned Steve Carrell as well. I said, "Like Tony Danza and tap dancing" to which he replied "and Bronson Pinchot talking with a funny accent." Naturally, I responded "Of course, don't be ridiculous!" at which point we agreed that Bronson Pinchot should give up his old voice for good and stick exclusively to the Balki accent. Then a little research on Perfect Strangers turned ugly fast.
As you may recall, Larry and Balki had a coworker named Harriet who eventually was paired with the loveable police officer from Die Hard as part of a spinoff series called Family Matters. Therefore, as far as I'm concerned, Balki Bartokomous is directly responsible for the existence of Steven Urkel. This is sad, sad news. There is no Dance of Joy in me today, folks.
Special Blog Bonus: Evil Jeremy also discovered that the original unaired pilot featured Louie Anderson as Cousin Larry.
How messed up is that? You can read more about the pilot here. In the meantime, here's a clip from the show:
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