Morning Bacon

Why is it that there are no bacon-flavored breakfast cereals?

Explanation: I'm just wondering. It seems there's bacon-flavored this and bacon-flavored that. We have chocolate covered bacon and chicken fried bacon. Doesn't it just seem natural that somebody come out with Bacon O's breakfast cereal? How about Bacon Bacon Crunch? Frosted Mini Bacon? (I know, Bacon Bits would be the perfect name, but it's already taken.)

Friday Morning Bacon

Early to bacon and early to bacon makes a man bacon, bacon, and bacon.

Explanation: Today my wife has parent teacher conferences. When her school does conferences, they start at 10am and go forever - I expect her home around 7pm. The day is usually exhausting for her, but being seven months pregnant, I think today will be particularly rough. So, as a special treat for her, I satisfied her craving for French toast this morning. And, because I'm an extra special wonderful husband, I also made...

BACON!!!

Aren't I just the best? Anyway, I have enough leftover bacon to have a hot bacon, turkey, and muenster sandwich, which takes me back to my favorite meal in the Virginia Tech cafeteria: the Smokey Gobbler. Of course, the Gobbler was on a crossaint, but it's close enough.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to sit here and giggle at the possibility of a 6'7" 330 pound offensive lineman (a parent of one of her students) sitting in one of those little third grade chairs as she talks to him. I sat in one the other day and I looked ridiculous. Maybe he'll just stand...

Veggies? No Thank You.

No thank you, I'm a meatatarian.

Source: This is from a Wendy's commercial for the Baconator - what may be the world's coolest* sandwich:



Explanation: It's a personal choice.

*The Baconator is not, I repeat, NOT the least healthy sandwich on the market. Not while Hardees still exists, anyway.

Bacon vs. Tofu

I told my wife to bring home the bacon and she brought me a check instead. What gives?

Explanation: It's not that I don't like the check, it's just that I specifically asked for bacon. And yes, technically I could use the money to buy bacon, so that's not it either. It's just that I wanted bacon. BACON!!!

Special Blog Bonus: For fun at home, I suggest you pick up Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu and pit them in a battle to the death.

Or, you can just put them together!

Sheldon Speaks

Ladies and gentlemen, honored daughters, while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivety has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you.

Source: Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.

Explanation: The university recruits a child prodigy who is smarter than Sheldon. Sheldon decides it is pointless to continue his research and looks to assist his friends with their work. His friends successfully conspire to derail the prodigy (Mr. Kim) in order to get Sheldon off their back. As always, hilarity ensues.

Also from this episode:



Special Blog Bonus: What is that you're wearing? It's intoxicating...

Six Degrees

Buffalo wings are served with blue cheese, which is served with salad, which is served with soup, which is served with bread, which shares a BLT with... BACON!!!

Explanation: That's right! It's six degrees of bacon!!! Want another? It doesn't even have to be about food. How about this:

Popeye eats spinach, which is in Quiche Lorraine, which contains eggs, which are served with... BACON!!!

Hmmm... Let's get tricky.

Jack Nicholson was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon, who was in JFK with Jack Lemmon, and lemons are squeezed on scallops, which come wrapped in.... BACON!!!

There. I started you off. Give it a shot. It's quite fun.

BACON!!!

Special Blog Bonus: Here's comedian Jim Gaffigan talking about bacon:

The Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 3

Jeremy's Status Message Proudly Presents The Twelve Days of Christmas:

On the third day of bacon,
My bacon gave to me,
Bacon bacon bacon!
Bacon bacon bacon!
And bacon bacon bacon bacon!

Explanation: What can I say? I love bacon.

Special Blog Bonus: And now, compliments of the good people at IHEARTBACON.COM and Bacon Unwrapped, here are some ideas for the bacon lover in your life:

• Bacon Salt (which is kosher, by the way)
• Smoked Bacon Flavor Spray
• Gummy Bacon
• Bacon of the Month Club
• Bacon Beer
• Bacon Chocolate Bar
• Bacon-Wrapped Tater Tots
• Baconated Popcorn

And finally, I don't care if I've run this Beggin Strips commercial before - It's that good. BACON!!!