Thoughts On Vacuuming

From the archives:

10 Things I Thought as I Vacuumed My New House For the First Time:

10) Wow, this place is bigger than my old place.
9) This is going to take forever.
8) I wonder where my employer gets those carpet zambonis from.
7) Maybe it'll be better when we actually have furniture.
6) I wonder if I can vacuum a giant VT into the center of this room.
5) I bet they make ride-on carpet zambonis, too.
4) Am I taxed by the square foot?
3) If I walk forward and then back, I can make my footprints disappear.
2) A housekeeper can't be THAT expensive.
1) THIS VACUUM SUCKS!

Explanation: I have a LOT of time to think while I'm vacuuming. This would also be how I concocted Hoover's Paradox. I should also note that now that we have furniture, vacuuming is not much more fun.

Oh, the joys of home ownership! Today's chore: raking the yard.*

*I should note that raking the yard will still be a slightly more fun activity than Monday's scheduled periodontal surgery.