You can make a 79% return on your money just like I did!
Explanation: Yes, you heard me right. Seventy-nine percent. Forget public school for my kid - my child is going to and Ivy League school!!! I may get me a DE-luxe apartment in the sky with this kind of money, 'cause we're movin' on up!
Did I make this money on the stock market? Not likely. Commodities? No way. Money market? Nope. How did I make this fortune in less than a day? In less than an hour?? Without leaving the comfort of my own home???
Online poker, baby! Yeah, you heard me right. Last night, in under an hour, I made a big fat 79% return on my investment. Yep, I'm a high roller. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my windfall. Maybe I'll put it in inflation-protected securities for the time being just to be safe.
As a beginning poker player, I would recommend you don't play high stakes games like I do. Just start yourself off with freerolls or play money games. You don't want to sit down at a real money table with sharks like me, 'cause we bite. Nope. Build up your game. Then, when you think you're ready for it, I'll see you at the $0.01/$0.02 No-Limit table.
Don't expect that day to come anytime soon, though. Only gifted players like me can turn a $1 buy-in into $1.79 at a difficult table like that.
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