Working their fingers to the bone

Some people think that I have kids because I think they're so cute, because I feel inspired to have more children to devote my life to, because I don't know how to use birth control.

Well, they're all wrong.

I have kids so they can do all the work for me. Seriously. Just ask my kids. I do nothing and they do all the work and it is awesome.

I thought I'd let you in on my Guide-to-the-Easy-Life Job System. Get those bon-bons out, ladies. Life's about to get cushy.

Our chores fall into three categories:

Category #1: Jobs-that-are-so-everyday-they-don't-even-merit-a-place-on-the-job-chart

• Make bed, or clean up blankets from where you were sleeping on the floor (Gabe)
• Clean room
• Get dressed

They have to do this before they can eat, because hunger is a real motivator.

Category #2: The job chart jobs

• Straighten house--stairs and main living areas (done right before dinner)
• Clean bathroom--straightened and wiped with Clorox wipes (done after everyone's slopped their toothpaste all over the counter, after breakfast)
• Straighten basement (done right before dinner)
• Clear table (done after dinner...I actually have to work and clear the breakfast/lunch dinner)
• Empty car--clear and put away all of the day's accumulations (done before dinner)
• Garage and Outside--clean up all outside toys/otter pop wrappers/return all the neighbor kid's flip flops (before bed)
• Set Table
• Empty dishwasher
• Sweep (done after dinner)
• Laundry (see laundry post)

Emma (or Miley on the job chart), Gabe (Yu-gi-oh) and Jane (Sparkles the Snow Leopard) have 3 jobs, Seth ( Diego, a new slave, see him on his first task below) has 1. Everything is velcroed and they rotate down one job on each Monday morning (so we get to be tortured by Jane's poor job execution for 3 straight weeks. I'm SO happy when it's Emma's turn to straighten the house again).

Rewards/Consequences

No one plays until there jobs are done.

If they do it happily and on the first asking, they get a check. All green checks = 25 cents a day, making their weekly job earning possibility a whopping $1.50 a week. If they yell and cry (Jane) or make me ask them 10 times (Jane) or do a really poor job (Gabe), they get an X. And X gets nothing. Except when it's X'd, then they can go play.

Category #3: Friday Jobs

I basically decide what deep cleaning the house needs and assign it out. Sometimes it's happy and gets done in 2 hours; sometimes it's so miserable that Ryan and I can't take the sacrament the next Sunday.

Here's a sampling of what they do:

Vacuum, clean bathroom (I always do that bathroom the next week, to insure less e coli), wiping table and chairs, windows, dusting, trash emptying, spot cleaning and drying the floor (with Mom mopping--keeps me off my hands and knees), washing walls.

So that's how I read and blog so much. I have nothing to do around here.

Serious note: It takes quite a bit of consistency, calling kids in to re-do jobs, forcing myself to be happy with less-than-perfect, listening to whining, stopping what I'm doing to re-focus or help--but it's my job as a mom to teach my kids how to work. And they really are pretty darn good. And I really don't know how I'd manage without the kids that have learned how to help out (Emma and Gabe).

It's awesome to have my servants.