Dad Day #1

As Jessica is off visiting friends, I am now a full-time single parent for the weekend. I took the day off of work and got to see a little bit of what a normal day is like for the wife.

5:00 am. - Wake up, go swim while Jessica gets ready to head off to the airport.

5:45 am. - Wake up kids about an hour earlier than normal. Pile them and some blankets & pillows into the van. Drive the wife to the Airport. Kiss her goodbye.

7:00 am. - Arrive back home at same time we normally wake up kids. Time to start the a.m. routine. Instruct kids to avoid slushy puddles in garage and dirt covered cars as they come into the house from the van. Watch Jane slide her pillow all along van exterior as the comes into the house. Get mad. Remember resolution made only 8 hours before that I wouldn't get mad. Take 15 minutes to clean garage and find personal happy place.

8:00 am - Feed kids nutritious breakfast of German Pancakes and Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. Not what mom usually makes, but she isn't here now is she. Emma reminds Jane that they can wear whatever clothes they want today because "dad doesn't care what we wear." Cheering ensues.

8:45 am - Send older kids off to school. Dressed-"check", Jobs-"check", piano-"check", family prayer-"check", Lunches, Teeth Brushing, coats ... "check check check." So far, so good.

Change 2nd "class-2" diaper in under an hour. Wonder what the wife feeds this one? Put him in bath to get over disgust. Sit down w/ laptop to email co-workers reminding them that I won't be in the office today and do a couple of work related tasks. Vaguely note that Jane and Seth are playing upstairs together around bathtub.

9:00 am - Overhear Jane exclaim "Huwwy Sef, Huwwy ... you awe dwowning!" Run up stairs. Find Seth un-drowned in bathtub. False alarm - phew. Jane is pretty soaked ... but not enough to merit new clothes.

Dress Seth and clean up some more. See bear art/craft that has been crunched, smashed and discarded in various areas of the house. Debate over whether it is cruel to throw him away - decide it is not, proceed to trash can.

as I pick up the bear, Jane sees me and informs me that she made the bear at preschool. I nonchalantly pick up the bear and look at him. "He wooks mad" Jane informs me. I don't see why. As she runs off I trash compact the bear.

9:30 - Drop off Seth at playgroup. Take Jane to library for kiddie reading corner. Notice I am the only male over 3 in the room. Feel awkward. Wonder if I seem gay because I am here so deep into female territory. The other mothers act as if I am an invisible spirit of some sort. Jane they can see. Me they cannot. Try to blend in ... can't. Listen to lady with guitar. Color some pictures with Jane. GREAT! ... she asks me to color the rocket ship w/ rainbows. Definitely playing to the assumed gay dad suspicions.

11:30 - Pick up Seth from playgroup. Go to bank, and CostCo. Get hot dogs, and pizza for lunch for kids. During drive, Jane informs me that "if you yell at me fwee times today then I will not be you gilfwend anymore." I protest that I haven't yelled at her at all today. She reminds me of the incident this morning exiting the van. I apologize and she reassures me that I still have two more chances.

On way home from CostCo Jane begs for me to tell her "stowies from when you was a boy." I tell her a bunch. She then asks me to tell her about when mom was a girl. I tell her I didn't know mom then. So then she asks about when I first met mom. I tell her the story in great detail and begin cheering at full volume and hyperventilating when describing how beautiful she was at that fateful first instant. Jane says ... "I wish I could have seen what she wooked wike back then."

2:00 - Naps. I lay down to read. I end up falling asleep instead. I see why Jessica is so enamored with naptime.

3:40 - Older kids arrive home. Emma actually called as Jessica predicted at 3:25 to ask for ride home because "the bus doesn't leave for like 10 minutes". I have to tell her that Jane is still sleeping so she will have to take the bus.

3:55 - Plan rest of evening w/kids. We Decide on following schedule

• 4:00 - Play outside in snow
  
• 5:00 - Dinner (Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup)
  
• 6:00 - Get jump on Saturday a.m. jobs (I lobbied for this one)
  
• 7:00 - Play video games together (DDR & Monkeyball)
  
• 8:00 - Bedtime

This is "Abbie." Jane was playing with her today. She is Emma's rabbit. Jane told me this morning that she would be "in big twouble if Abbie isn't on the bwack bench when Emma gets home." She even suggested we move Abbie so Seth wouldn't get her. After dinner I overheard Jane say "Emma ... do you know whewe Abbie is?"

"Yes" Emma said dryly (she was still on the bench as ordered).

"So I'm not punished!" Jane cheered.

I am not sure how Emma commands such obedience, but I need to learn her methods because mine aren't half as effective.

We pretty much followed the schedule. Had a nice evening and I didn't get any more tallies towards Jane breaking things off with me.