I'm sorry, so sorry

So let's start with a little recap of the day:

First of all, I'm sick. I have a cold, a sore throat and I'm extra tired. (Just setting the stage/giving myself an excuse).

Early this morning, we had a primary inservice meeting. I am in the primary presidency and we planned it, but we were totally taken by surprise at how strong the Spirit was and how perfectly it went. I went home on a little high.

I then proceeded to take previously-resolved-about oldest daughter on a little birthday present shopping trip alone. It was very nice.

I then came home and with little provocation, completely lost it with my 7 year old. (Mom, you might want to tuck some more money into your Grandchildren Therapy Fund). I don't know what happened. Why, after such a great morning, did I do that? Completely mystified. (Feel awful and lame.)

Anyway.

We proceed to clean the house and I take a nice long nap. Ryan leaves for Priesthood Leadership session of Stake Conference and says, "If you want to come to Grace's (his good friend's daughter in a stake 20 minutes away) baptism, I'll meet you there at 5pm."

Here's the big error of the night...I decided to go.

So I, ON A SATURDAY, BY MYSELF, iron a bunch of church clothes, load kids in the car and head to a baptism. I should have known I was in for trouble when Emma responds to my "We're late" comment by saying, "Good, less baptism we have to sit through."

They were horrible. Crawling all over us, broccoli-smelling (long story), in your face, pretending to go to the bathroom but really just wanting to run up and down the halls loudly, fighting, incapable of whispering horrible. And, I'm sure, completely normal.

Let's just say...the car ride home: not going in any General Conference talks soon. Including, but not limited to:

• slamming on brakes when child wasn't seat-belted after 2 reminders
• yelling
• not-listening chair sentencing
• dead scared silence

So then I pick up the babysitter and the pizza and proceed to the adult session of conference. Where I feel immersed in guilt for the entire first hour. And resolve to go home and grovel and apologize.

Do your children, when you apologize, say, "Yeah and remember how you..." and then remind you of all the poor parenting you did that you didn't specifically mention? Well, mine do. Luckily, I was sufficiently humbled and in a good place after the meeting and so we just laughed and I promised that if I wasn't a good example of how to handle stress, at least I could be an example of how to apologize and just try again.

So that was my day. What was up with that?