Super Post XXII

A Public Service Announcement From Jeremy's Status Message:

In case you didn't know, I feel obligated to inform you that there will be a professional football game this weekend.

Explanation: Yes, that's right, it's Superbowl weekend! The biggest game of the year! The biggest halftime show ever! The biggest commercials of the year! The longest pregame show of the year!

Here are our fearless 100% guaranteed lock predictions for the game:

• Tom Brady will have two ankles for the game.
• You will hear the phrase "wardrobe malfunction".
• There will be a mention or two of the "meaningless" Week 17 game between the two teams.
• At least one person you're with will be very excited about the last digit of each team's score.
• It will be a hard fought battle, but the team that manages to score more points will come out victorious.
• Nobody will confuse Tom Petty for Tom Brady.
• Even if the Patriots win, the 1972 Dolphins won't shut up.
• If you turn on ESPN right now, they'll be talking about the game.
• Wes Welker will catch a short pass and then try to run out of his skin to avoid getting tackled, prompting an announcer to comment on how good he is at getting open on short routes.
• You will hear that Randy Moss is new to the Patriots this year.
• There will be at least one primate featured prominently in a commercial.
• At least one person in the stadium will take a photograph of the kickoff.
• Eli Manning's famous sibling will be mentioned during both the game and perhaps a commercial or two.
• FOX's broadcast of the game will involve robots for some strange reason.

As always, we reserve the right to update this list throughout the day.